As I sit gazing at my computer screen there are so many thoughts floating in my mind at the same time..
Let me see if I could offer you a sneak peek into my genius mind..
1. What color shirt should I Buy?
2. I need to look for more colors( My wardrobe lacks color just blacks and whites)
3. Need to watch a movie with "N"
4. "Dil Bole Hadippa" would be a Flop (This is what I think please do go and watch it as I am not psychic and cannot predict future)
5. Thinking about trip to Agra (Will post about it later)
6. Taj Mahal was awesome
7. Wish I could eat those kulfi's I had at Agra (They were the best I ever had)
8. Oh Yeah it's Friday (So two days off..)
9. Wish I had loads of Money to buy me a car :-(
10. Can't come up with any new ideas for my blog
11. How can people write so creatively?
12. I think I should quit smoking altogether(Mind You I was successful with the alcohol)
13. What should I buy For G's brother wedding?
14. What did I give "N" as a B'day gift this Year?
15. Wish somebody could gift me an I-phone
16. Will India be the no 1 cricket team? (I am confident they have the potential)
17. It's been a long time I played cricket.
18. Eagerly waiting to upload the pictures of Agra Trip
19. Need to download some new songs
20. Maybe I should cook something over the weekend (Yes I can cook and cook better than many of the ladies I know..sorry..no offence meant)
While penning down my random thoughts I was struck by little wisdom and thought I should share it. Afterall it's my blog and my space so why shouldn’t I be the one who decides things.
Wise men say "It’s easy to lie" but is it really true..Don’t think so..
To be honest telling a lie is as complicated as telling the truth. The moment someone asks you a question for example there are so many permutations and combinations that go into framing an answer. You dont' think so..ok here is an example.
Boss: Why where you late today?
Me: Oh Boss!! sorry about it but I had to go to the hospital?
May sound as a simple answer but in reality you would have thought of so many things before letting out the answer.
Why am I Late?
Flat Tires No..that is such a primitive excuse..come on D..you are more creative than this..
Traffic Jam..what if he used the same route to reach office..No way..
Hospital yes that’s it…OK I had to go to the hospital..
Which Hospital did I go to?
Has to be close to my house cant name one which is located far..
Testing my geographical knowledge..1.2..3..yes that's it..xxx hospital
What Happened?
Oh what I am suffering from..Maybe cold..No..he would know am lying I don’t have running nose or heavy voice..
How about Headache..who goes to hospital for headache..Stomach ache maybe..But I do not want to miss out on the lunch they are serving..was planning to take an extra helping..I am so hungry
Oh yes..I had get myself checked for Swine Flu..have been feeling weak since past few ays..Wow am genius..No but what if he asks for the reports..ok..I need to think fast fast..yes
One of my relatives wasn't well..of course he is not going to ask you for a prescription in that case..Ok who should he be..some uncle..(Does it really matter at that point of time?)
Ok now that you have done the mis-en-palce for the answer lets concentrate on looks..I have to look sad..as though I have been starving..and not slept for God knows how long.
Now did it work?
Boss: Oh I am sorry. Hope he is fine. Just let me know if you need any help.
Me: Sure Boss!! Thanks a lot!!
My Genius Mind: D! You are genius boy. You should have been an actor. Guess only if you had the looks and physique.
Three Cheers to this thing called mind..(Hip Hip Hurray!)
Women!!Women!!Women!!
can't live with them, can't live without them...
but this is one species that god created and he's still laughing... at himself and his creativity...
well hold it... all your angst against me and before you count me one among those innumerable MCP's... that you already know...
i do... and i really do... respect them for what they are and all that a woman symbolises... all the strength that she represents both for herself and her family... she is the pillar which holds a house together...
god was very thoughtful when he made a woman... he gave them all that he knew that a man was'nt worth giving... for he had made the man weak hearted... for he had made man weak brained... all that he gave man was physical strength...
god made woman a mother... the most precious of his blessings...
he gave HER the responsibility to carry a child in her womb... for he knew that only she could handle the preciousness of the most virtous of his blessings... for he knew only she was sensible enough to know and understand the value of his blessing...
((just another of the reasons probably that atheists like me talk of god once in a while... cos no supernatural power could have made something so perfect as a women...))
if all this, then why? why? why?
· WHY ALL THE TALK ABOUT WOMENS LIBERATION??
· WHY ALL THE CALL AND DEMAND FOR RESERVATIONS AND CONCESSIONS FOR WOMEN??
· WHY IS IT THAT COURTESY, MANNERS AND SPECIAL TREATMENT ARE EXPECTEED WHEN DEALING WITH THEM??
i might have triggered those anti ME nerves in you again, but... seriously, if all that they want is to stand equal to us men... then why not fight it along with us... shoulder to shoulder?
even we are struggling today... the competition is just as equal everywhere... it is not ruled by the discrimination of sexes...
(( sonia gandhi... a girl from some far flung italian town who probably in her wildest dreams wouldn't have thought of commanding a position that she holds today...of course it was her sheer potential that she saved CONGRESS from going down the drains... and i don't say this out of any regards for the political party... IT IS ALL THE WOMEN'S AUSTERITY THAT SHE COMMANDS AND HOLDS THE POWER AND THE KEY TO HER OWN FUTURE AND THE FUTURE OF THE PEOPLE AROUND HER...))
what i mean to say is that women are going places...but still, i know, you know, we all know... women DO let us know and keep us reminded that they are women... and they need to be treated VERY SPECIFICALLY as women...
you notice it everywhere... at office, at social events, at parties, in public transport they expect us to get up and offer them seats... ((they call it gentlemanly... ooh gimme a break...!!))
grow up gals and all those who'd wanted to be called ladies...
BE A WOMEN TO BE TREATED AS A WOMAN... AND IF YOU WANNA FIGHT THE BATTLE... STAND SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH US WHEN IT COMES TO CAREER AND LIFE...
YOU ARE THE PILLARS THAT SUPPORT OUR EXISTENCE... AND WE PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU... FORGET SURVIVING, WE WOULDN'T EXIST WITHOUT YOU...
SO BE WHAT YOU ARE... BUT BE ON ONE SIDE... ((EITHER CAREERS OR EITHER WOMEN...))
PRESERVE YOUR "YOU"... probably a lot of houses will be happier if a women strenghthens her stand in the family... in the house... in the society... in HER life...
While sitting idle(though those moments are rare)..a thought came across my mind..is it possible to manipulate a women’s mind, I know it will be difficult task, but let me give it a try... I might fail to deliver (expected, isn’t it? On which planet do men deliver?)
Please bear with me. After all, the first question ‘what women want’ still remains unanswered.
Women need security. She has two issues to sort before she is even willing to let you get close enough so you can attempt a manipulation.
1) Is she feeling safe with you?
2) Is she feeling safe from the World when she is with you?
Remember, this is why a woman never falls in love at first sight. One doesn’t get to know the bank balance at first sight.
If your answer to the above two questions is ‘Yes’ you are a star and you have every right to continue reading this article. Other men may as well pick up the latest PlayBoy and head to their favorite corner.
What politicians are to the citizens of a democracy, men are to the women. We never vote for the best politician (for there aren’t any) …we always end up voting for the least corrupt. Similarly, women are forced to choose the one who is the least likely to mess up their lives – which is anyway going around and around in cycles. Period.
It is this need for security and the ability to compromise, that makes a woman prefer the guy who offered to pay the bill, though he took her to a cheap restaurant.
Never walk into the restaurant and say magnanimously: “We will go Dutch…but I will take care of the tip myself.” This just might tip the scales in favour of the guy she had been keeping aside as Plan B.
But taking her to a restaurant and paying the bill might NOT make her trust you. She might start thinking, “This guy takes me to a restaurant, and pays for my dinner. Something is definitely fishy.”
If she wasn’t already on guard with you, this act of yours will put her on guard. You might not be able to read her mind, but she can read 100s of permutations & combinations into your single smile.
Mind you, women are always on guard …which helps them in their search for ‘security’. It is as if they see these boards (see pics) everywhere they go.
In a way, we men have made the women such experts in sensing the dangers nearby.
Not wanting to be left behind, the Indian Navy has decided to give up its gender bias and plans to use a woman’s seventh sense…there will be a woman in every sea-going submarine.
This woman will have to look out for dangers under the sea. Navy has SONAR etc….but apparently they aren’t as effective. The bill hasn’t been passed in the Parliament yet…our MPs are debating over the Indian Navy’s suggestion that the woman be tied to the nose of the submarine.
Anyway once you have won over her confidence…and made her feel safe with you and from the World, when she is with you…she is ready to be manipulated.
My dear men (women, you still reading?)…there are two things you need to know about a woman:
1) Women have the inherent need to know everything
2) Women love to be flattered
Women have this inner need to know everything about the man they are interested in or have ended up marrying. Talk to her…not just about cricket scores or the latest youtube video you saw on the net. Talk to her about what you did in office, what you ate for lunch, what you spoke of when you met your colleagues in the loo, what you were thinking while driving your car back from office, what her mother in law thinks of her, what her sister in law said about her…just about everything.
On the Flattery front, here are a few stock sentences that you can use to flatter her and once she is flattered, you can manipulate the hell out of her. Remember, you are dealing with a person with a seventh sense for security…so be careful.
1) Are you dieting? Or is it the gym? You are definitely losing weight
2) Where did you get that skirt? Goes really well with those shoes.
3) Did you do something to your hair today? I am seeing something extra.
4) I was walking just behind you…and guess what, when you walked past that bus stop…all the men fainted.
5) You have such nice skin. I knew you had reached Chennai even before I had landed in Chennai.
There are certain things you should never tell a woman. Even if it sounds ok to you, as a man. Sentences like:
1) If I were only half as good looking as you are…I would be your company’s CEO
2) You have such nice skin. Wish I had that too….darn these rashes!
3) Where did you get that skirt? Would love to see them crushed on the floor
4) What deo do you use? I was walking just behind you and when you walked past that bus stop…all the men fainted.
5) Did you do something to your hair today? I am an extra dosage on your shirt today
While you try these out on the women in your lives, do let me know the success rate..maybe I would get a Nobel for solving the most complex “question’ of our time…
